Born This Way

Never good enough. That explains everything. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try and no matter what you do you'll never be good enough in some people's eyes and you'll feel more crappy if those people are the ones you want to impress the most. Sometimes I wonder what must I do to make them be proud of me. I was never a troubled kid, I don't mix with the wrong crowd, I don't smoke neither do I take drugs, I got decent grades in my major exams. What else do they want from me? I've done almost everything I possibly could but some people will never notice that. Even now when I'm on my way to entering university taking a good course, I'm still never gonna be good enough. I'm tired of being compared to someone else. I'm tired of people telling me how great others are and that how I am not that type of person they wanted me to be. I'm fed up of people telling me who and what I should become.

And so I realised that whatever I do to impress them is useless. You can try for a thousand years but you will never be that person others expect you to be. If you try your whole life trying to please others and be someone else but yourself, you will soon figure out that you're actually throwing your whole life away. I found this quote to be totally true; 'God has given you one face and you make yourself another- William Shakespeare'. Almost all of us are trying our best to mould a person we're not because to most of us being ourselves is never good enough and so we're trying so hard to mould a person who would be the epitome of perfection to everybody else surrounding us. We're so carried away to meet the expectations of others that we forgot that this is our lives that we're living in. We're too carried away that instead of chasing our own happiness, we are actually trying to fulfill the "happiness" of others. Remember that you are who you are. Don't try to be someone else just so you could fit into a mould others prepare for you. It is nothing wrong with being true to yourself and leading you own life, making your own decision. You can only improve yourself and be a better version of yourself, not trying or pretending to be someone you're not or doing things you know for sure you dislike. Take for an example; if you're perky and loud, so just be it. That's who you are. You don't have to be all soft-spoken and gentle just because someone ask you to be that way or because everybody else is being that way. Be who you are and appreciate yourself; the way you look, your personalities. Also, you don't have to lead a life that others tell you or have planned for you. If you really love for instance baking and you would love to open a bakery one day but the people surrounding are telling you to be a doctor and are going full force against your dream, all you have to do is have faith in yourself and do the things your heart desire. It is your life not theirs.

So, I am not going to let anybody get to me now. I've done all I can to prove to them that I'm as good as anybody else and that just being me is good enough but if my efforts are not being appreciated, then I rest my case. There is no point trying to live up to their words and I'm happy just being me. There is only one me in this world and there is only one life I'm living. No more trying to change myself to suit other people's taste. I love myself and there will never be anybody else like me. What you see is what you get. So, it's either you take it or leave it. Therefore, to all you people out there, remember you were born an original. Don't die a copy. Peace!  

Dinner At Renaissance

Today me family and I went to Long Feng, Renaissance to have our dinner. As usual we ate too much and now seriously I'm feeling not that great and I wish I could just puke my food out. Not in the mood to tell everything that happened today so I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves. Btw, you will notice that I did not take many pictures of the food we had because we were to engrossed in our food that I had totally forgotten to take the pictures of most of the dishes.

I Will Remember You

There is this girl who is very tall, extremely smart and funny. Her presence will take those grey clouds away immediately. This girl is one of my best friends from secondary school and her name is Priya. They say true friends are hard to find but they lied because I found you.

I loved having her and a few of my besties around back in high school. (You know who you are) The fondest memories were the ones where we would all bring our food during recess and ate together at the back of our school building, facing the graveyard and near to the school toilet. When I think about it, it's funny that we chose that particular place instead of a better one with better view and aroma. That would be our favourite spot; sitting, eating, talking and laughing together. Oh, how I miss those times.

I was and still am not really good in physics and our lessons would always be held in the laboratory. Some of us would be chosen to sit in the front row for thorough supervision and guess who was selected? Me!!!! *patting myself in the back* (proud tears) *sob sob*My physics teacher for some reasons I was not quite sure of, would always and I really mean ALWAYS asked me to stand up and answer his questions or even worse, asked me to go to the front of the class and write the solutions on the blackboard. Yay!!! I was the chosen one again!!! Judging from the countless times I kept being the chosen one, I bet I would already be a super hero by now if this was a super hero movie instead of a regular physics class. So, when I was selected to save the world, ooopppsss! I mean to answer the questions, I would always quietly and carefully looked around at my besties for anwers. Luckily all my besties were the masters of physics so they would happily tell me or should I say signalled and whispered me the answers as if those questions were a cinch. This is just another beautiful yet funny memory that will forever be in my mind and heart.

Priya has been MIA- missing in action for quite some time and to be honest, I am missing her dearly. Fortunatley, about a month ago she suddenly appeared back in Facebook and I was extremely relieved that she was okay but she soon disappeared again a few days later. Today, I received a letter from her. I'm super touched and happy that she doesn't forget about me and even has the heart to write and send me a letter. True friends will always be true friends. This is the letter she sent to me and the content.

Ody is a nickname given to me by my besties and only they can call me that. If you ever dare call me that I will seriously chop off your head, shove it down the toilet bowl and flush it.

 I will keep this forever.

Priya, I just wanna say thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for the letter, thank you for being my good friend and thank you for everything. I'm so lucky and proud to have known you in this life. There will never be another one like you ever. I will be there for you if you'd ever needed someone and I will stand by you. The last time I talked to you, you told me that life was tough but you know what? You're tougher!!! Just stay strong when life gets hard because I know you're a one strong girl. Keep your spirit high and never let the lively girl in you dies. You are a diamond in a rough and you know that. We'll keep in touch soon and remember that I love you!!!
Lots of love, hugs and kisses from me too,
Ody

PS: This song's for you. It's exactly what I wanna say to you.

Nutty Professor? Yeah, Right! Nut Head? That's More Like It.

I went for my medical check-up and I'm glad I did not continue procrastinating. The place was packed like a can of sardine and it took me the whole morning for everything to be completed. If you know me really really well, you would have known that I'm the queen of self-humiliation and I will do something that is real silly and dumb sometimes. I could compile a whole book of all the embarrassing stories in my life if I want to.

So, there is no 'fun' stories to tell today except that when I was asked to pee in a cup for my urine sample (TWICE) I found myself comparing my pee with the others that were on the tray and unsurprisingly my cup was the fullest. Urine sample requires only a small amount of urine because it is usually just to check your urine acidity, whether one is pregnant or not, etc. but judging by the the amount I gave them it was like giving a marathon runner a cup of water to quench their thirst. So what did I do? Take it back and reduce the amount? No no no... I just left it there. The fullest cup wins!! The second time I went to for my 'pee competition', I almost opened the door of something that looked a lot like a refrigerator and put my bottle of urine in it. Cold urine? That's cool! The guy in the room just pointed out the place I was supposed to put my bottle and the blur me of course became a nut head and and thought that he was pointing at the 'refrigerator'. You couldn't believe how many people suddenly screamed "Noooooo" at the same time. That's just wonderful! A good wake-up call for Miss Blurry Melody. I left the room as soon as possible without saying a single word. Medical check-up, checked! Humiliation, checked!

Ready, Get Set, Don't Go

Tomorrow will be exactly 1 month time left for me to savour my moment in my comfort zone. But honestly, my feelings are all jumbled up in a big bowl of emotions. Excitement, anxiety, sadness, curiosity, you name it. As the day approaches, I'm becoming more and more nervous to leave. I'm really starting to freak out. I really have no idea what is in store for me but all I can do is think and head towards positivity. That's the least I can do to keep my spirit high. I've started packing because it is better to do it now than to do it last minute. Last minute anything just spells for disaster. I've bought quite a lot of stuff to bring along to my new "3 years hometown". There are still so many things I have to do before I can breathe a sigh of relief. So for now I think I need an extremely big inhaler to keep my heart beating.