Friday 27 May 2011

The Love Of My Life, My Family

Family. A simple yet meaningful word. I couldn't think of any other word that means more than family. People said you need both mother and father to consider your life complete but even without one of them now I am complete. I have a wonderful mum and a loving sister to complete me. Friends come and go... If you lose a friend or two along the way you can find and replace them anytime you want but if you lose your family, you lose everything. There is only one specific person in your life to call your mum, dad, sis or bro. No one will ever be able to replace them even if you search the whole world. They are the ones who will be there for you when the whole world turns against you. They are the ones who will take your hand and lead you to the correct path when you lose your sight. They are the ones who will catch you when you fall hard. God has given me 2 most wonderful people in the world, my world and for that I will always be grateful. They are the most important people in my life. They mean the world to me. They are the ones I look up to.They are my life, my heart and soul.

I heard this one question in a movie when I was little. "If the 2 most important people in your life were in danger (for example, both were being swept away by strong current and both were drowning) and you could only save 1 person, who would it be?" Think about it for a moment. Who will you choose to save and who will you choose to let go? I never really gave a thought about it before but a few years ago this question popped into my head and so I thought about it and the answer came pretty fast to me. If they both meant so much to me and I couldn't live without any one of them, why should I choose? Why should I go on with my life without either one of them? So my only answer would be that I would jump into the water and die with them without 2nd thought. That is my only answer so what's yours?

Mummy, you are the greatest. You are the reason I am who I am today. You gave me life and you always showers me with unconditional love. You sacrificed a lot for me and Jie Jie and you swallowed so much bitterness and pain throughout your youth just so you could provide us food daily and educations. You single-handedly raise us up and give us everything you could. You taught us so many valuable life lessons so that we can be better human beings. You taught us to strive and work hard to succeed in life so that we will not go through whatever that you had gone through in your life. You always want us to be a better person than you are. You taught us to work for the things we want and you constantly tell us to stay persevered and strong whenever we face an obstacle. You always tell us that it is okay to deal with hardship now because only then we will taste sweetness in life. And that is exactly what we are going to do, Mummy. We will work hard and give you all the sweetness in the world in the future. I will never be able to repay you and all the sacrifices you made for me. Even if I say I love you until my mouth bleeds or chop both of my hands off to repay your love and sacrifices, or even walk on blazing fire, those actions will never match up to all the things that you have done for me. Mother's love is the greatest and because of that I will try my very best to be a good daughter to you. Mummy, like me, you too are not perfect and you too like every other human being make mistakes. All the mistakes you make and all the things you do or say that don't seem right, I will learn from them and prevent myself from doing the same things. For that I thank you because those mistakes only turn me into a better person I always wanted to be. I'm not born in a rich family and you are unable to provide me with a luxurious life but it never bothers me at all. Those material stuff meant nothing compared to the love I have. I can proudly say I'm not rich with money but I'm always rich in love. I know that sometimes I make you sad and angry and sometimes I even make you cry and I'm sorry for that. I am not the perfect child but I will try to be good enough for you. All the times we had together I will cherish them forever. I love being around you and Jie Jie. I don't need anybody else and I don't mind spending my whole day with you. Everybody else loves hanging out and going to the movies with their friends but for me I love hanging out with you and Jie Jie. Mummy, I will never say I love you enough but I love you with all my heart and I will love you forever. I promise I will give you the life that you always dreamed of. You will forever be the most beautiful woman in the world in my eyes even if your beauty fades with age. I promise I will be the child you will be proud to call your own. This I promise you. Love you forever and always, Mummy.

My sister, Joanne, you have always been there for me. During my ups and downs, you are always there. You are my only best friend in my life. You are always there to support me and I can tell you anything without hesitation. You are the one I always turn to and you are the only one who knows me inside out like the back of my hand. You understand me and that is all I need when I'm in my darkest hour, someone who understands and someone whom I can count on. I look up to you and I want to follow your footsteps. You are a strong, independent woman and you always know what is right and wrong. I know it is hard to be the 1st child and to be a big sister. You have to set a good example for me to follow and you have to take up mummy's responsibility whenever she's not around. Let me tell you this, you have done a great job! I'm so proud of you.=) And trust me you have set a pretty high bar for me to overcome. That is why I always work hard so that I could match up to you or be even better and because of the high bar you set, I found the strong girl in me, the girl who is capable of doing anything she sets her mind to, a girl who knows what she wants in life, a girl who knows she can do so many things that she and other people doubted at first. Because of you, I push myself to the limit. Remember I have told you before how others would always compare me to you and always wanted me to be more like you? 1 thing for sure is that I never hate you for that even though their words hurt my feeling a lot because I understand that I will never be you and you will never be me. I am who I am and you are who you are. You accept me for who I am and you told me not to change myself and just so you know, I wouldn't change you any bit either. You are already perfect in my eyes. So, thank you for accepting and loving me for me. I promise that I will make both you and Mummy proud. Words can't describe how much I love you. Bizarrely, we have so many things in common that I doubt anybody in this world could find someone else who would resemble themselves so much in the inside. That is why we are always so close to each other, right? ;-) We are like puzzle pieces that fit perfectly with each other. There will never be another 1 like you. =) Always keep in mind that I will always be there for you and support your every decision like you always do. No matter what happens, I will always be your sister and you will always be mine, and I will always and forever love you.

Mummy and Jie Jie, I will love you both forever till my last breath. Nobody matters more to me than you both. Muackss to both of you!! Hehe..


To me, nothing beats family and love so cherish the moments you have with your loved ones and always acknowledge them how much you love them.
Love,
ML

Wednesday 18 May 2011

Loser Like Me

Since I was small till now, people surrounding me especially relatives and friends constantly pointing out all my flaws directly to my face. Not only that, they always look down on me and my family and think that I will never reach the top. Some brainless and materialistic maniacs thought that once you are born in an average income family, you will always stay that way. I bet that when you have a lot of $$, people who always look down on you will suddenly show up at your doorstep and tag along behind your ass like dogs. Guess what? Go to hell! When it comes to so-called "friends", some of them especially girlfriends always find the joy in criticising my look, hair, the things I have and judging my moves all the time. Aware that I am NOT born genius or extra smart like some of them-both boyfriends and girlfriends, they too find the joy and delight in calling me names eg. stupid ( 1 friend called me that and I shall forever remember that person) or acting all smart ass and making you look like a fool and loser in front of them. For those who think that I'm stupid and a loser, well, I don't see you guys getting all A's in your STPM and our CGPA only differ a little. So, what's the big deal? Are you really that smart after all? I assume a few of my so-called "girlfriends" are swimming in a pool of jealousy. Wanna know why I said so?If those people think they're smarter, then there is no reason for them to be mean and make me feel like a dumb loser bimbo. There must be something about me that they are jealous of. That is why those haters are acting like total jerks. Why must you be so fake? Acting as my friends but at the same time trying to bring me down and making me feel like a loser when actually you guys are just haters. Everything about me seemed wrong to you. Get real yo! Jealous much? For those at work who hate me for no reason, passing lies after lies and put negative labels on me, go fuck yourself. Well,guess what? One day when I'm big and successful, you guys will still be stuck there serving other people like slaves. You guys will never go anywhere and will forever be this low. So go on, hate me! All of the above haters have 1 intention in mind that is knocking me down and making me feel like a total loser. The best scene they are dying to watch is the part where I crash and burn. Well, tell you what. Don't hate me coz I'm beautiful. I will prove to you haters that I will reach to the top and I will see you guys from above. Call me stupid, call me loser, call me whatever you want but one day you'll be screaming my name and I'll just look away. Remember that all the dirts you've been throwing my way just make me even stronger. I won't change myself because of you guys. I'm proud to be who I am. So again, go on and hate me, haters!! To my haters, here's a song especially for you sincerely from the bottom of my heart. Love, M.